…To Put On A Happy Face…

(Re-post from 3/21/15)

As I wait for the damned computer to restart, eating my Cool Mint Chocolate CLIFF Bar (my current favorite), I sit and ponder about signs. Not the crop circle kind, but the ones that get lost in the day-to-day for lack of flashiness…

clif-r3_cmc

I am tired, and it is not flashy at all. My head-shrinker got me talking about my aunt today. It was hard. I miss her. She’s been gone over 20 years and I still miss her like it was yesterday. So I signed up for the 2015 MS Walk in Seattle. It’s on April 12, 2015 and naturally there are no events anywhere in Puerto Rico, probably because only white people get MS. Who knows! I think I need to get someone in my family to get a chapter of the National MS Society opened in PR…we’ll see…I mean, I can’t get them to do the walk if there is no representation there now, can I?

I’m pretty excited about the walk. I have to raise/donate $100 to get an even t-shirt and God knows I’m all about event swag. But the event got me thinking about an idea for a handmade book that I had years ago: Recipe for Hope. Almost all the design elements are ready, I just need to get to Utrecht and get me some chip board. I had planned on making five, if I remember correctly. A friend I have since lost contact with, Catherine, helped me to find some of the materials I needed and one of the books was meant for her. Time, resources and the demands of school conspired against the execution. However I graduated and I have extra motivation now, so hopefully however many I make will be done by the end of summer. I still want to raise the $100 to help the cause, but the t-shirt is definitely taking the back seat on this one.  It’s only natural.  😉

And so I continue to move along, navigating the pitfalls and finding the silver linings.

It’s hard to find silver linings when I’m busy navigating the people who seem to have no understanding of basic physics: two solids CANNOT occupy the same space. Just because you want to get on this lane does not mean that you have the space to do so. Do not invade my lane and then act surprised when I flip you off (on a good day).

I think I need to start meditating again. Not today, though. I’m sleepy and hungry and that is not a good precursor to meditation, I don’t think. Hubby played a meditation by Wayne Dyer this morning. I loved the music, but it was so relaxing that I was nearly fast asleep by the time I got to work. I want to do that meditation again, I want to hear the music. 😀

Hearing the music and facing the music…not the same at all. FUCK! Without my degree I wouldn’t have my job, so it’s not an entirely useless degree. But FUCK!

Ok, got that out of my system, on to bigger, better things…

I spoke with my doctor about the shots and how sometimes they hurt. I haven’t kept notes, let’s be honest. Even if it’s for a good cause, I’d still be killing trees and that bothers me. So what I do is I have a heat pillow that I got from Ellen in Alamogordo, NM while I was still in the Air Force. I’ve been experimenting with it—kinda like I did with the ice pack.

Here’s what I’ve done: the syringes have to be stored in the fridge. I thought that maybe the reason that the shots hurt sometimes is because the medication is cold going into a warm piece of flesh. The doctor told me that I could take the syringe out of the fridge before I’m ready for the shot so that it loses that refrigerator cold. I noticed no difference, so I don’t bother with that anymore. I tried numbing the injection site with an ice pack before the shot, no difference. After the shot there is no difference either, so I left the ice pack alone. Then I tried the heat pillow before the shot, no difference. But if I apply the heat after the shot, it feels like it actually works to ease the temporary pain/burn. It may be in my head, I know.  But it works, so I’m not about to knock it.

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