(Re-post from 3/8/15)
Frustrations run rampant on a daily basis, I guess. It doesn’t matter how healthy you are, there is always something that has the potential to fuck with your universe. The key is whether or not you let it, but that is a personal choice.
Dealing with early onset of MS is irritating to me. Not because of the condition, I think it is behaving quite well—possibly because we’re working together rather than against each other, but so it is. What is irritating is the fact that sometimes people and/or circumstances work overtime to make you act, think and/or feel like you are on your deathbed. Seriously! I have a very smart doctor who actually advised me to disclose things as widely or as sparingly as I feel comfortable doing. There are days that I wish I had said nothing at all.
Now, I KNOW that sometimes people operate on the imperative to cover their own asses to make sure they don’t do anything stupid that could get them in trouble or something. That’s not me, I do stupid shit all the time—case in point, moving to Wonderland. But when I was diagnosed and was able to think objectively and make some personal decisions I arrived at the decision that I am still the one who calls the shots in my life and that, unless a court of law finds me incompetent (people and their opinions can suck it), I am quite capable of making decisions about my wellbeing. Therefore, how I choose to use my time off is up to me. I work it, I earn it, I use it. End of story.
So then back in 2012 my left eye acted up. I hate going to the doctor (there’s a saying back home: “al que no quiere caldo, se le dan tres tazas”), so I never went. Now it turns out that the damage to the optic nerve on my left eye may have stemmed from that. So since now my right eye acted up too, my doctor did not want to risk any further damage (because of what I do, presumably) and prescribed a 3-day IV treatment. I had the day off the first day, and I had to call in sick for the remaining two because the side effects sucked. The worst of it was that the nasty, chemical taste in my mouth was so horrible that I couldn’t relax enough to sleep. No sleep equals me biting people’s heads off at work. Not a good thing when you work with the public. I had enough leave—which I prefer to use for enjoyment, NOT for medical treatment—so I thought it would be no big deal. It was no big deal, except that now I’m feeling some type of way because suddenly I need to be careful in case I need leave to go home. SHIT! If I go home I’m NOT coming back. I know this. The hubby knows it. Midnight knows this. It’s a fact.
So back to the disgusting taste in my mouth…NOTHING makes it go away! It has ruined the taste of everything but water for me. Of course me being me that has not stopped me from eating. I’m the only person I know that gained weight after having her wisdom teeth pulled. What can I say? I’m dedicated… LOL But seriously, I got these dark chocolate toffee almond candies that tasted like burnt coffee grounds…I won’t be getting those again! Thankfully the dark chocolate covered ginger was fine. It was dangerously close with my Seattle Chocolate Cosmo truffles…I absolute LOVE them things, and they were tasting funny too, so I refused to eat any until my taste buds are back to normal. Now I can drink green tea with honey and it’s okay, as long as it’s at least warm. But I couldn’t drink coffee without being grossed out, or coke, or 7up or sweet tea. Even Italian food was ruined by this damned dysgeusia (that’s the medical term). I has been a stressful week…
So yesterday morning I got up and the taste was still there, disgusting as always. I made coffee and it smelled like a dusty old house. So my first meal of the day was “Mango Habanero” hot wings, cheese fries and an Angry Orchard. First food I had all week that tasted right. Today my coffee tasted fine, so there’s hope for tomorrow at work. I also got me some dark chocolate covered berries that work, so far. I am wanting to try something savory, though…wasabi peas? J They always make me happy…